Should I dump this girl?!

[j0z0d34th]

for yor girl friend to chill and hug her exs but the cause of a huge fight if i do the same thing

[code85]

Does she say that their "just friends"?

[eviljohn]

you single and dating guys jus dont get it-- there is no fairness in a marriage or relationship. i can even find the word "fair" in my dictionary anymore.

you can never win a fight even if you are right. And may god have mercy on you if you are wrong.

after 2 and half years, i dont even get to pick the colour of my underwear anymore.LOL

and to get back to the subject: its ok for her but not ok for you, jus accept it.

[-phase-]

welcome to the world of being a guy
it was game over since the day you were born

[dina]

thats not right.....wtf?

[shay654]

You guys are picking the WRONG girls! *shakes head* :rotz: I think it's wrong for girls to do things and for her significant other not to do the same and vice versa! I think that's just plain wrong and unfair! If there was any TRUST in the relationship, there shouldn't be a reason to trip off little things like this! I mean, I admit....the only time I'll actually trip is if a guy gave me REASON to! But if he never gave me any reason to DOUBT him, then why should I?! I'm not that insecure to allow that to happen! And if the guy does end up straying, then I wouldn't want him anyway!

Think about it this way....this is probably thee BEST quote I have ever heard when it comes to situations like that and the best quote to sum up my thoughts and beliefs. It came from my friend's mom! Words of wisdom:

"It's not PROOF that destroys a relationship....it's SUSPICION!"

Keep that it mind kids....and you'll have a BEAUTIFUL and HEALTHY relationship! :grinno:

[AcidLotus]

can't have proof without suspicion though :D

[shay654]

^^^^ not necessarily.... if there wasn't PROOF to begin with, there wouldn't be a reason to be suspicious! It defeats the whole purpose! Suspicion is the ROOT of getting to the idea of obtaining PROOF! If you don't suspect in the first place, there's no point in obtaining proof! Okay, I think I just repeated myself! You're confusing me! CAUSING CONFUSION...TYPICAL MEN BEHAVIOR! hahahahaahhaahaha :laugh:

[j0z0d34th]

what phase said is exactly the way i feel....hahaha.....u said they were just friends but hey they were also actin like a couple...."but he was high and i was leadin him through a crowd......" that and a history of cheatin? w/e.......i went to rt 96 to b low off some steam..straight gas the whole way and can answer a previous thread 2006 a.t. tops out at 142......

[shay654]

^^^ daym! Like that?! Well, glad you didn't get a speeding ticket! haha :laugh: Either way, I think it's not fair to say that it was ALL over, for you guys! I just think you haven't found the right girl! The reason why I say that is because if a guy truly found the person he wanted to be with, they would APPRECIATE them rather than be BURDENED by the idea of being with a girl! And that's your first mistake....you went for a GIRL...get yourself a WOMAN and you'll definitely know how you should be treated! hahaha And if this person makes you feel this way, then drop her like a bad habit! You deserve someone better! :nod:

P.S. I'll be moving this thread to the righ forum! :grinno:

[sn410]

An ex is an ex for a reason...ppl need to learn to let go and move on.... if someone is still chillin with ex's and huggin em up... then i would be annoyed. Whats the point of keeping contact? You just dont do that -- if at the least out of sheer respect for your significant other... since they ARE your current bf/gf.

Just my 2cents.
:tribe:

[mrgold35]

This may sound very crude coming from a guy. There are two types of women a man dates:
- the kind we marry
- the kind we frak
Don’t make the mistake and think you fell in love and marry the kind you frak because you will be paying for it for the rest of your life.

You have to ask yourself if this the woman you want to marry, have kids together to have your legacy live another generation, build a life of love/happiness/pain/forgiveness, be the reason for your living, be the person to be a witness your life so you will never be or feel alone, and be the kind of person to make you a better man for your kids and the whole world to see.

If she is not the one, have fun dating and wear a condom.

[offset_98]

I think we're gonna need pics to make this assesment.

[shay654]

This may sound very crude coming from a guy. There are two types of women a man dates:
- the kind we marry
- the kind we ****
Don’t make the mistake and think you fell in love and marry the kind you **** because you will be paying for it for the rest of your life.

You have to ask yourself if this the woman you want to marry, have kids together to have your legacy live another generation, build a life of love/happiness/pain/forgiveness, be the reason for your living, be the person to be a witness your life so you will never be or feel alone, and be the kind of person to make you a better man for your kids and the whole world to see.

If she is not the one, have fun dating and wear a condom.

"Can't make a ho a housewife"

I think that was a lyric to a song, but I not sure which...hehe

[shay654]

Actually, it really depends on the situation! With me, I'm still cool with most of my ex's because I didn't have a bad break up with most of them. They never cheated on me, or treated me badly. I was just taken for granted and things didn't work out. And if the break-ups weren't bad, there shouldn't be a reason why you guys can't remain FRIENDS! I mean, if you think about it, you cared and loved these people for a reason, not having them as friends because of a break-up shouldn't change that UNLESS they cheated on you or beat you or anything else that's unforgiveable! Believe me, every guy that did f*ck me over, I've completely erased from my life!

That's why I think it totally depends on the situation. I mean, one of my ex's from high school, we became BEST friends after we broke up! So, it is possible to still have that FRIENDSHIP after a break up! Of course, there's limits to what you can do with your exes! You can't be doing things that are inappropriate like ACT like you guys are still together! Keep them in the FRIEND zone...keep it PLATONIC! One thing people have to understand is that you have to RESPECT your partner! If you feel that your significant other is insecure about an ex, then try not to talk or hang out with them as much. Give your parnter that level of REASSURANCE!

But like I said, if they're just friends...don't sweat it and trust her! If they act more than that, then drop her like a bad habit!

Good luck! :thumbsup:

[06Tsxeer]

I wouldn't really kno exactly wat to tell u cuz...yea ppl do change and sometimes they don't, but in order for them to change they have to learn from their mistakes. I guess its just a matter if u're willing to take a chance and be there thru all those mistakes. If shes worth it to u and u love her, let her kno how u feel and if that STILL doesn't make her realize shes being wrong, then save it and move on. I've been thru a helluva lot worse with my current girl who i'm always on and off with. I don't even wanna get into the story cuz its like....the most dumbest craziest unreasonable type of shit u could hear about a relationship between two ppl. But i do have to say there are times where i say that i love this girl so much and everything i went thru was worth it, and then times where i'm so confused if i was just an idiot for putting up with it all.

Honestly man, it all depends on your feelings for this chick. Just go with what your heart tells u, and don't regret wat happens after cuz wat u did was go with wat u truly felt inside.

[sn410]

This may sound very crude coming from a guy. There are two types of women a man dates:
- the kind we marry
- the kind we frak
Don’t make the mistake and think you fell in love and marry the kind you frak because you will be paying for it for the rest of your life.

You have to ask yourself if this the woman you want to marry, have kids together to have your legacy live another generation, build a life of love/happiness/pain/forgiveness, be the reason for your living, be the person to be a witness your life so you will never be or feel alone, and be the kind of person to make you a better man for your kids and the whole world to see.

If she is not the one, have fun dating and wear a condom.

+1

[shitbox]

after 2 and half years, i dont even get to pick the colour of my underwear anymore.LOL


:rofl:

[j0z0d34th]

http://profile.ak.facebook.com/profile2/485/92/n1388280056_28331.jpg thats her pic as per request and as much as i think icould marry her i realize its not possible

[shay654]

I wouldn't really kno exactly wat to tell u cuz...yea ppl do change and sometimes they don't, but in order for them to change they have to learn from their mistakes. I guess its just a matter if u're willing to take a chance and be there thru all those mistakes. If shes worth it to u and u love her, let her kno how u feel and if that STILL doesn't make her realize shes being wrong, then save it and move on. I've been thru a helluva lot worse with my current girl who i'm always on and off with. I don't even wanna get into the story cuz its like....the most dumbest craziest unreasonable type of shit u could hear about a relationship between two ppl. But i do have to say there are times where i say that i love this girl so much and everything i went thru was worth it, and then times where i'm so confused if i was just an idiot for putting up with it all.

Honestly man, it all depends on your feelings for this chick. Just go with what your heart tells u, and don't regret wat happens after cuz wat u did was go with wat u truly felt inside.

To be honest with you....most relationships that are OFF AND ON is a clear sign that it's not going to work out and that it's doomed from the start! If you think about it, what's the POINT of breaking things up and getting back together and going through the vicious cycle! Make-up sex?!?!?! haha :laugh: If that's the case, that can take you so far, but it won't improve the relationship! Of course I only say that IF one of the reasons is because of make-up sex! hahaha :p But if it's not, then just allow the relationship to die instead of reviving it everytime!

I think the problem is that people get too DEPENDENT on the relationship and with each other and expect things to get better! In reality, it WON'T! It's like what people say, you can't CHANGE a person....so why sit around and put up with all the BS :bs: when you can be single and drama free or be with someone who's less drama?!

I'm not trying to say, you can't work things out....but if the couple aren't able to make it work, then it's time to just let it go completely! Don't let the whole parade pass you by! :grinno:

"Don't blame love for hurting you, blame yourself for thinking you were in love"

I told you I'm a quoteswhore! hahahahaa But that is soooo TRUE!

[shay654]

thats her pic as per request and as much as i think icould marry her i realize its not possible

I think offset_98 was joking! hahahahaha :p She's aite....I can hook you up with cuter chicks with a good head on their shoulders! ;)

[06Tsxeer]

I kno exactly wat u mean shay and like i said, its really unreasonable lol. But to be honest we never really try to revive anything. We just somehow end up back together. Plus to me its pretty much watever now when it comes to this cuz i wasn't always exactly innocent either. if it ends it ends. If it keeps goin then milk watever u can out of it. And yea make up sex.....lol. Speechless...

[Chiqui<^_^>28]

"Don't blame love for hurting you, blame yourself for thinking you were in love"

That is exectly what i think...I can only blame myself for thinking it was love, but it is not. t0o bad for me :(

But oh well, i'll just wait cause i know the RIGHT MAN is there waiting for me :)

[j0z0d34th]

the way i c it i could marry this girl. shes intelligent, pretty, a freak, ok so our views differ on a few things but when i w/ her the world seems to melt away. sex is gr8 but not even a requirement. the only real problem i have (and it could just be me) is that shes one of the few ppl that i cant read. be it shes not takin down walls or whatever i just cant read her. and usually i can read ppl like a book. also on eof my friends said "when ur gf get in your car there is one sure way to tell if shes cheatin, if she puts her phone in ur cup holder, door handle.... then shes not, if she holds it then she is". to the ladys out there, true or false???

[azn120]

^ I think that is false. Most girls keep their phone in their purse, well at least that's what I do and what my friends do, and the putting the phone in the cup holder or door handle, as opposed to holding it is irrelevant. If she is constantly checking the phone though, then you may have something to worry about.

[sn410]

the way i c it i could marry this girl. shes intelligent, pretty, a freak, ok so our views differ on a few things but when i w/ her the world seems to melt away. sex is gr8 but not even a requirement. the only real problem i have (and it could just be me) is that shes one of the few ppl that i cant read. be it shes not takin down walls or whatever i just cant read her. and usually i can read ppl like a book. also on eof my friends said "when ur gf get in your car there is one sure way to tell if shes cheatin, if she puts her phone in ur cup holder, door handle.... then shes not, if she holds it then she is". to the ladys out there, true or false???

This is false... most girls keep their phones in their purses so it proves nothing....the real question is : is the phone ON or on SILENT? If you know her to be someone that talks on the phone often/regularly but when shes with you the phone doesnt 'ring' or you dont see her taking calls, then something is up.

Also if shes hard to read... then its another red flag cus women are all about communication and want to be just as connected as the other person in the relationship, but if you cant read her.... theres a disconnection....its great that you say there are all these other elements that draw you to her... but at the end of the day it doesnt matter if you still hv a disconnection. Like it was said on previous posts.... if you cant imagine spending your life with her as your best friend that you can trust and confide in and get the same in return its probably best to 1)talk to her about it (its possible shes afraid to talk to you or bring it up as 'guys' are known to run from 'communicating' 2) after talking to her if things dont change then talk to her again but if it persists then id count my blessings and walk away. At least you put an effort into understanding her but if she doesnt hv the respect to explain it to you or try to be more open then shes not worth it cus theres more to life than that....being in a relationship isnt about 50/50 -- its 100/100.... and all abt comprimise... if she doesnt get it.. then bounce.

[shay654]

^^^^ agree with azn120 and sn410...there is no relevance to the phone being in the car door/cup holder. Like what sn410 said, if she's the type to get calls all the time or is constantly on the phone but then you notice she's not at some points, then YES....something is up! If she puts her phone on silent around you, then most likely she has something to hide! hehe

Btw....I thought I moved this thread to the POLLS forum! :hmmph:

[j0z0d34th]

well for starters her phone is always on silent from before i was dating her, so i cant use that one and at the same time she doesnt carry a purse. the truth of the matter is i just dont think she knows how to have a relationship (im 18 shes 16 turning 17 in 2 weeks) i dunno shes only had 2 other bfs b4 me and those were only 2 month things. the first she cheated on and the second her parents broke up and both of those were at least a yr ago. god i feel lke im in a teen soap opera...hahaha well w/e

[sn410]

well for starters her phone is always on silent from before i was dating her, so i cant use that one and at the same time she doesnt carry a purse. the truth of the matter is i just dont think she knows how to have a relationship (im 18 shes 16 turning 17 in 2 weeks) i dunno shes only had 2 other bfs b4 me and those were only 2 month things. the first she cheated on and the second her parents broke up and both of those were at least a yr ago. god i feel lke im in a teen soap opera...hahaha well w/e

actually even if she was doing it from b4 you met her (keeping her phone on silent) then shes been also 'keeping silent' since the day you guys met. Sorry but no one keeps their phone on silent unless its for a reason. Trust me. You can say something straightforward like: Ive never met anyone who always has their phone on silent.... might sound blunt, but a blunt question will usually derive a blunt answer and you need something straight fwd from her.

If it bothers you, you should be able to tell her.... if she is sensitive and cares enough abt your feelings.... she'll stop or at the least comprimise...maybe keep it on the lowest ringer? or vibrate?

Also i understand you guys are young...but honesty is an ingrained trait not one that is age specific. Youre either honest or youre not... you either care or you dont. Basically all I THINK it comes down to is respect. If she respects you, the relationship and even herself... she will listen, she will comprimise, she will share her thoughts/reasons as to why she does what she does and she will change some habits you might find questionable because you had the respect to talk to her abt them.

At your age youre just learning how to communicate... so i get that.. but keep it light and dont sound like youre attacking her... just let her know that you noticed it and you wanted to know why she does it.. and make sure you hv this convo in person cus you can tell alot from someones facial response and body language than convo's over the phone or email. Im sure whatever response you get from her.... youll know if youre comfortable with it or not.

Good luck!
(and itsnot a soap opera :) ask us anytime!)

[slammed06tsx]

dude your young man have fun...i thought the girls i was with when i was 17 and 18 and even 19 that iwas gonna marry and family and this and that..and it never worked out cause we were just to young and havent really explored the world..i know that may sound corny and all but its true im in my upper 20's now and just about a year ago found the girl that completes me physically, mentally and spiritually and im damn glad i waited cause i was close to being married and close to having a kid and would be unhappy now..have fun dude then get serious . Couple of questions to ask yourself---> r u in school still?, Do you live on your own yet?, Have you met all types of different girls/woman to know what your looking for or what your NOT looking for?, Are you independent?, Relationships are serious man cause they can make or really break some people,...... listen God created the heavens and earth and on the 6th day he rested, then he created woman and since then noones rested...lololol haah justajoke-- I would say have fun and when you got most of your goals accomplished and are stable then start looking for a girl to marry and raise a fam with....



juss my 2 centz

[sn410]

dude your young man have fun...i thought the girls i was with when i was 17 and 18 and even 19 that iwas gonna marry and family and this and that..and it never worked out cause we were just to young and havent really explored the world..i know that may sound corny and all but its true im in my upper 20's now and just about a year ago found the girl that completes me physically, mentally and spiritually and im damn glad i waited cause i was close to being married and close to having a kid and would be unhappy now..have fun dude then get serious . Couple of questions to ask yourself---> r u in school still?, Do you live on your own yet?, Have you met all types of different girls/woman to know what your looking for or what your NOT looking for?, Are you independent?, Relationships are serious man cause they can make or really break some people,...... listen God created the heavens and earth and on the 6th day he rested, then he created woman and since then noones rested...lololol haah justajoke-- I would say have fun and when you got most of your goals accomplished and are stable then start looking for a girl to marry and raise a fam with....



juss my 2 centz

I agree totally-- i was gonna mention this too but then i would be writing a frikken essay ahahha.... you are young and the biggest mistake you can mk right now is getting TOO SERIOUS too fast. I know from experience..i got involved young (frikken 15yrs old) thought i was the $H!t and thought i knew it all and when a few years rolled by....he chngd i chngd...and what came out of it? I lost a good 6yrs that ill never get back.... my sister married her first love when she was 19 he was 23....and you know what? theyve grown apart-- cus shes diff now at 29 and him at 33... totally diff and she regrets it now cus all they do is fight.... and this is just me and my sister.... there are so many others ive seen get involved too young....not worth it.

i told my brother whos 21 the same thing.... dont fall in love so easily..wait for the 'one' and date ppl to find the right one....dont get into all this drama and think she's gonna always be like this forever cus guaranteed she wont.

think abt it.

[06Tsxeer]

I kno the whole too young thing makes the most sense and its probably the best way to go, but is it possible that if its meant to be its meant to be? Like for example, yea u may get married to ur first love at 19 and grow apart 9 or 10 years down the road, but that doesnt mean it doesnt happen to ppl who marry at 31 and split up around 45. Maybe it all depends either fate or luck. Just a thought. Give ur input on it cuz its not exactly something i believe in, just something i wonder.

[sn410]

I kno the whole too young thing makes the most sense and its probably the best way to go, but is it possible that if its meant to be its meant to be? Like for example, yea u may get married to ur first love at 19 and grow apart 9 or 10 years down the road, but that doesnt mean it doesnt happen to ppl who marry at 31 and split up around 45. Maybe it all depends either fate or luck. Just a thought. Give ur input on it cuz its not exactly something i believe in, just something i wonder.

Oh yeah you have a point...and its very valid...i guess in my opinion...ppl are just 'better' equipped to know what they want and dont want in a relationship when theyre a bit older .. but youre right... theres no real guarantee that any relationship will work. No matter what your age or if the relationship is serious or not... if you get the vibe that something is off, it probably is. How you deal with it is on you and how she responds is something you cant control... you can only control your reaction to her. (im saying 'you' only in the general sense) if youre not comfortable and youve given her time and she doesnt respond in a way you feel you are ok with... then just re-evaluate your situation and ask yourself: Is this worth getting upset over or not? cus im sure all the ppl on this forum who have been in serious relationships can attest to the fact that sometimes you just squash things-- just to squash 'em.

But to get back to this particular situation with her and the cellphone... its valid...you need to talk to her and ask her about it. Thats all you can do at this point.

[shay654]

I agree with slammed06tsx. One thing that sticks out from his statement is this:

"found the girl that completes me physically, mentally and spiritually"

And I think that is one of the key characteristics in a relationship! A lot of people will find their soulmates when they're in high school (high school sweethearts), and there are others that will find them along the way down the road. It doesn't matter when or what age, it's just a matter if whether or not things will fall into place for the both of you. It really depends on both individuals and where they are in their life and the level of maturity that they possess. Sometimes you can't deteremine that until you are with the right person or when you are ready to make that commitment.

[j0z0d34th]

ok slammed to answer a few questions. since 13 ive been playing the stock market, at 15 bought an apartment i have 4 properties that i rent out now and i live in another. i am currently still in school (sophmore in college), and my freshman year of colege i spent living/studying in israel where i dated all kind of girls big and small (no offence to any1) in fact i was sort of a man-slut there (49 girls in 9 months and i dated one for 5 w/ out cheatin on her once). i have been independant from my parents since 16 when i moved out. i have been paying them $250 A MONTH to pay them back for their raising me and educational fees. @ 18 im better off thanmost 30 yr olds and yet im still a full time student. and it was the 7th day he rested the 6th he created man. sorry if im comin off soundin angry but im just tryin to pt all this down in as few lines as possible. as of now my only goal is to get my a$$ out of college get a degree in buissness and auto mechanic/body/design and open my own shop in miami/nyc/la/vagas and work on cars (redo them from the frame up) i stil have a ways to go but if i stay the path i am now i will be there b4 im 30 possibly 25.


as of now i sort of want to close this thread i started not because im angry at the responses but rather becasue in the time this thread has been open i have spent much time w/ her and have come to my own conclusions. unllike the poll suggests im not gonna dump her im gonna stick it out. but at the same point im gonna remeber what y'all are sayin and im gonna use it to help make my descisions. thanks for all of your aged wisdom haha im jp but seriously...thank you.

[shay654]

^^^^ madd props to you for havin' your ish together! :bowdown1: Like I said, age ain't NUTHIN' but a NUMBER! :grinno: And like I said before, you don't have to listen to what other people say....do what you feel is right, but always take into consideration what people are telling you. Sometimes people who are outside lookin' in have a better perspective because people can be blind and may not see the whole picture! But remember what I said before about your car?! Forget what other people think, what matters is what YOU think! So, don't eeeeven trip! Good luck! :thumbsups:

[j0z0d34th]

every guy and every car has his/its blind spots. and i like to think neither can be judged exclusivly by the blind spots. all that needs to be done is have a vision adjustment and why not trip, i ove fall driving through the mtns hahaha

[slammed06tsx]

dated one for 5 w/ out cheatin on her once


he created man on the fifth day by the way gen 1:27- then created woman after he put adam in the garden of eden..oh yeah it was a joke!!
also
hope your not mad at me bro all im saying is to have fun be careful...the most i can tell you is that 5 months aint nothing when it comes to years and people change..some for the better some for the worse anyhow more power to you as your making your own decisionss good luck with her and i hope things work out for you i want to see tsxers modding not depressed bbbbb5 lolol

[06Tsxeer]

Glad to see u finally decided. Good luck with everything dude. Like i said before just follow ur heart and do wat u truly feel inside. That way u shouldn't have any regrets cuz u did wat u truly felt even if it bites u in the ass.

[j0z0d34th]

dude srry bout the bible quote.....im not mad at anyone i didnt want to give that impresion but i guess tahts the way it soundeed and i know 5 mo aint jack in the long run but hey in 9 months thats the majority of the time that was the emphasis i was tryin to make

[shay654]

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.”

:grinno:

[Drunkenbuda]

Let the girl go, plenty of other females to explore.

[j0z0d34th]

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.”

:grinno:



amen to that

[slammed06tsx]

all good man as long as your happy and i must say im sure youll work it all out cause it seems you have a good head on your shoulders with all that you have accomplished already...Good luck

[j0z0d34th]

thanks again evry1 for all your help w/ this mess....

[Keviosoofly]

well...im 19..im thru with dramas..
thats why i got myself a friend with benefits.
im happy with it though..sometimes.