Things you have to believe to be Republican today

[Ferg]

I created this list myself, and I'm sure I left out a few things. But I thought it would be a nice companion to the "things you have to believe to be a Democrat" thread.


Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

1. Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and had to be physically disarmed. Iran and North Korea have actual, real weapons of mass destruction, harbor hatred for the United States, and are run by dictators cut from the same mold as Hussein, but they should be dealt with diplomatically.

2. The Iraq invasion had nothing to do with oil or an American presence in a volatile part of the world where wild fluctuations in oil prices could cripple our economy.

3. Government should be smaller, except when it involves telling people exactly what they can do with their own bodies.

4. Government should be smaller, except when rewriting the tax code to benefit the wealthy.

5. Government should be smaller, except when the governement is busy dismantling the Freedom of Information Act, clamping down the on the free speech of radio stations, or sucking up to huge media conglomerates allowing them to line their pockets as long as they spew right-wing propaganda.

6. The media is "liberal". Forget those thousands of right-wing talk shows, the Fox network, the New York Post or Washington Times et al -- the media is liberal and out to get the right wing. Also try to forget about all those authors like Hannity, Coulter, etc. They are just part of that crazy liberal media.

7. "No child left behind" is a program that actually works.

8. If we don't teach kids about sex, they won't experiment.

9. Anyone who disagrees with a Republican must "hate America".

10. The Bush administration did not sit (for over nine months) on intelligence handed to them by the Clinton administration detailing the potential danger from Osama Bin Laden.

11. The 9/11 attacks happened because Clinton didn't spend enough on anti-terrorism.

12. The army that performed so brilliantly in the invasion phase of the war was put together by Bush.

13. The environment does not matter so long as we are getting richer.

14. Kerry is a wealthy, opportunistic elitist who has benefitted from wealthy and influential family ties, but Bush shares none of those same qualities.

15. A true Patriot accepts what the goverment says, without question. Questioning authority is not allowed -- anyone who questions the motives of the government must be a traitor. (This is nullified if there is a Democrat in office).

16. The goverment never lies. Except for liberals. They lie all the time.

[larchmont]

Great, great job, Ferg!

Let's make sure everybody realizes/appreciates what Ferg did here: He actually WROTE that himself!!!! :bowdown1:

How about everybody give him a bow, even if you don't agree politically? :nod:

(C'mon HondaMan!) :D

[pocketkiller]

Things you have to believe to be a Democrat.

1. Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding...unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.

2. The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tinpot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.

3. Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.

4. Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are "political opportunism," but calls for more gun control after a criminal's spree killing is "a logical solution."

5. Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless terrorists and other thugs.

6. Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good. Slowly killing an innocent disabled woman by starving her to death is good. Quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.

7. Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools in the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.

8. The best way to support our troops is to criticize their every move. This will let them know they're thought of often.

9. Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the United States.

10. Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.

11. Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.

12. Poverty is the cause of all terrorism...which is why the leaders of al Qaeda are typically U.S.-educated and were raised in wealth and luxury.

13. The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt's Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded "reasonable precautions."

14. We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.

15. Socialized medicine is the ideal. Nevermind all those people who spend every dime they have to get to the United States so they can get quality medical care...that their nation's socialized medical community can't provide.

16. Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.

17. John Lott's research on how gun ownership reduces crime is junk science, but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book "Arming America").

18. Bush's toppling the Saddam regime was a "diversion," but Clinton's lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was "sending a message."

19. A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an allies' intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.

20. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning Second Amendment rights and shopping the courts for judges sympathetic to causes that wouldn't pass in any legislature.

21. You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.

22. Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.

[Ferg]

Um....why did you repost this here?

[larchmont]

Hmmm, I guess he's sort of a conservative. :D

Larchmont, who's impressed that PK even pretends to care about Noam Chomsky. :D :D

[Joker]

Great, great job, Ferg!

Let's make sure everybody realizes/appreciates what Ferg did here: He actually WROTE that himself!!!!
:bowdown1: :bowdown1: :bowdown1: :bowdown1:

[HondaMan]

Great, great job, Ferg!

Let's make sure everybody realizes/appreciates what Ferg did here: He actually WROTE that himself!!!! :bowdown1:

How about everybody give him a bow, even if you don't agree politically? :nod:

(C'mon HondaMan!) :D

Not bad...I'm glad I helped motivate him to burn some of his free time writing it. LOL ;)

[TSX 'R' US]

Dems --> http://img21.photobucket.com/albums/v62/TSX-R-Us/Smilies/gayfight.gif <-- Repubs

[bigorangecounty]

For what democrats have to believe, add:

We think the United States is always safe (even after terrorist attacks like the original World Trade Center bombing in 1993), so we can deplete the CIA that can protect us from danger.

It's okay to kill 2 unborn babies in a set of triplets so we can remain at our current financial status....in essence, status is more important than life.

[larchmont]

If you're talking about being pro-choice......most Republicans are too.

Especially women. Which tells you something.

[HondaMan]

If you're talking about being pro-choice......most Republicans are too.

Especially women. Which tells you something.

I think that is more wrong than right, especially in my state or the bible belt South for that matter.

[bigorangecounty]

I agree with HondaMan...I truly DO NOT think most Republican women are pro choice. In fact, a lot of women who are conservative present pro-life as their biggest reason for being Republican. Just in case you were wondering...that is a true story that I just referred to...a woman living in Manhattan had 2/3 of her future children killed...that is SAD.

[sjlee]

I truly DO NOT think most Republican women are pro choice. In fact, a lot of women who are conservative present pro-life as their biggest reason for being Republican.

Please cite your reference for this "statistic". If this is just your personal opinion, then the word "fact" probably doesn't really apply. :)

[larchmont]

:cool: SJ enters the fray. :cool:

Great to see you over here, SJ!

A coupla more people and we can start choosing up a real game. :D

[bigorangecounty]

My bad, take out "fact" and then we have it. Pro-life or Pro-choice is one of the biggest deciding factors in politics today, and there aren't many who can contest that. One of the things I don't understand, and doesn't make sense in the world of liberalism, is why can we say a man who is drinking and driving and causes a car wreck, killing a mother and her fetus, can be convicted of murdering two people when abortion is still allowed? Anyone have an answer?